#63. Death in Heartbreak.
Someday soon, I’ll look at life in blissful wonder anew.
Till then, I’ll look at the outside world and wonder if it knew
that my heart, in stealth was killed, – I am here but not quite here.
Stripped of love, slowly fading away, ’til finally, I fear I may disappear.
Someday soon, I will be stronger when we meet.
Till then, I’ll look for you in dark, forbidden places.
I shall seek you amidst anonymous bodies and faces,
of now familiar, intimate strangers picked up on the street.
Someday soon, I’ll remember you without a tear in my eye.
Till then I’ll relive and drown the memories of you and I.
And cry a bitter bucket-full of anguish, sipping on sweet misery gin,
as I swim in waves of whiskey waters, of what could have been.
Someday soon, I’ll speak of you with one mended, healed heart
Till then, I’ll make a pretty puzzle of the broken pieces, part by part
And try to make sense of how it is that I can still live and breathe
When all of life you’ve cruelly torn away and ripped from me.
Someday soon, I’ll find, recognize and love myself again.
I’ll be wiser; free of this crippling guilt, regret and pain.
I’ll burn and puff my sorrows away in an incandescent flame,
rise from my ashes, choosing glory over this present shame.
Soon, someday soon, I swear, I’ll be me once more, alive and free
But today, say nothing to me, look away and simply let me be
Quietly and silently, let me mourn my death in heartbreak .
(c) ‘Kego Onyido 2014 (All rights reserved).